*yawns and stretches* Having a lie-in today definitely did me good but still there's a lot of catching up to do. I'd wiped the word sleep out of my memory for the last month and now I have to readd it to my vocabulary. I know that I've been neglecting everyone and everything in these last few weeks and I'm really sorry but work just got the best of me and kept me really busy. I won't elaborate but I'm sick and tired of filming that movie. And I won't complain or moan any longer either. *shrugs* I just have to deal with it.
Whatever. I'm pleased that I finally got a little vacation. I'm free for the following two weeks, triple yay! Today was Sun's wedding and it was really touching... ahm... boring I mean. ;) But seriously now, she was looking so beautiful and radiant with happiness and I'm glad for her.
Next week I'll be off to France exploring la ville d'amour. *grins*

I'm sorry this entry took me so long but I've been really busy for the last two weeks. I know I used to update my journal nearly every day but now that we're filming Venetian Heat(originally referred to as Italian Heat) in - yeah, you guessed right - Italy, this is quite impossible. Of course, I took my laptop with me but we've been working 24/7 with only small brakes in between, and even I need to get some sleep now and then. In return, we'll get two weeks off in mid-October and three weeks off around christmas. Not quite sure if that's a fair deal though. Particularly as I'm not too keen on my decision to accept this role, anyway. I don't have anything against gays but I'm straight and I'll really have to force myself to kiss a guy. This idea isn't welcome at all, trust me.
However, I came back to LA for the weekend. I just needed to get away and yeah, I also wanted to see Amber. I did last night, and our reunion was really worth the wait. Merely seeing her and talking to her was a great help and the certainty that she's there thinking of me and caring for me makes things much easier.

...and Mary-Kate Olsen ;)

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your page and see what I say about you?

P.S. This is just a test and a joke, no personal ad *laughs*

I'm so confused right now. I had a long, interesting conversation with Sarah last night. We talked about everything under the sun and I've got the weird feeling that she was revealing and confusing my mind at the same time. She told me she'd never seen me like that before; so insecure, yet determined. That she'd never seen me running after a woman. And she was right. I'd never have.
Then she asked me if I'm in love with Amber. She's refreshingly frank, huh? I just casted my eyes down, but she didn't need an answer. Well, the look in my eyes must have been the answer. I told her that I didn't know what to do. And this is the truth. I absolutely don't. I wanna be with Amber, but I don't wanna put her under pressure, don't wanna move too fast. And I don't wanna be getting on her nerves. I don't know what's wrong with me. I hardly recoqnize myself anymore. I feel lost
Later that night, I saw Amber and Sarah talking. I didn't listen in on what they said, but it seemed important. Even though I was more than just a little curious, their conversations are none of my business.
I drove Amber home and as we said goodnight, she kissed me on the lips - all of a sudden, just one light kiss. She took me by surprise, I couldn't react. And now I feel bad, even worse. She didn't say anything, just left me in the dark. If only I knew what she's thinking, how she's feeling. I'm so lost, I could burst into tears

all you self-styled slayerettes out there! it's William the bloody aka Spike, the vampire who went and got himself a soul! how are you peeps? hope everyone's walkin around like Happy Meal with legs? good girls and boys out there. *laughs* now seriously... this is James Marsters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I apologize for the exagerated intro (OTT *shrugs*) but vampires just like to talk big, you know?